Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Under Consideration

I've been thinking a lot recently; having 6 hours outside, alone, will do that for you. (Of course, if you follow my twittering adventures, you will also know that 6 hours, alone, outside, in the 90+ degree heat with no cloud cover will also induce vomiting, passing out, wimping out, and accidentally sitting on a freaking ANT's nest... And hey, I'll take A.N.T.s - Automatic Negative Thoughts - over actual physical ants any day of the week!)

What have I been thinking about?

First thought: Declaring goal.

I've been at or below my "acceptable" weight for about 10 weeks now. I crossed under 141 pounds on April 27th, which is the highest my weight can be (without a doctor's note!). Since then, I've been playing hunt and peck with my weight. (I will confess, I have dropped 8.8 pounds since then; but that first week on Geoff's eating plan really kicked my weight loss in the seat of the pants...)

My original stated goal was 125 pounds. And then, since I have to weigh in post-lunch and fully dressed, I decided that I would do 130, since I didn't want to have to actually weigh about 120-122 in order to maintain my WW goals... (street clothes weigh between 2 and 5 pounds... a pair of jeans weighs at least 1 pound and could be as much as 3 pounds. Just in case you wanted to know that.) Now I'm fluttering around 134 - 135; and the weird thing is, I feel so much better about my weight recently.

I think I got some validation with that article that was published at MSNBC. My "problem" wasn't getting loads of sympathy... or at least, not the sort of sympathy I was looking for. I got a lot of exasperated "you look fine, sheesh." and "what the hell is your problem, you're a size 4, for pete's sake." I understand that, I really do. A year ago, I'd have probably been yelling at me, too.

And yet, I wasn't as happy with my weight and my appearance as I thought I'd be when I was looking at the greener pastures from so far away. (I also further think that some of the exasperation directed at me was transferred aggression; "If she doesn't think she looks good at a size 4, what the hell do I look like at a 16, and I was sooo happy about being in a 16...")

Now, however, a mere two weeks after the article was published, I'm feeling better. More comfortable in my body. Vindicated. I'm still not 100% happy, but let's be serious... is anyone 100% happy with anything? There are always going to be things I don't like about myself, or my appearance. The day we decide we can't possibly get any better is the day we should just go out and die.

So, I've been thinking about declaring goal at 135 (what IS it with us and wanting some nice round number... I'm half tempted to declare goal at 134 just to be obstinate and stubborn and weird...)

This will 1) cut down on my monthly outgoing cash, as I will become a lifetime member in ~6 weeks. I haven't had any trouble keeping my weight the same(ish) or continuing to move down. Even my large weight bounces have been in the 1-2 pound ranges.

2) hopefully allow me to relax, a little. Not so much relax about what I'm eating, but damn, stop being obsessed with myself.

3) I still have the option of losing more. Thomas declared his weight goal at 175 and now clocks in at a sweet 162 pounds...

On the other hand, I did SAY I was going to get to 130, and man, I hate not doing something that I said I was going to do.

So, I'm conflicted.

What are your thoughts?

Second Thought: Guest Posts

I'm setting August aside for some guest posts. I've already approached a few writers and dieters about writing guest posts for me and their response has been enthusiastic. So, if you're interested in writing a guest post for me, hit me up in the comments, or shoot me an email at tisfan at gmail dot com. Likewise, if there's something you'd like to see covered here, contact me, or comment me, and I'll see if I can't find an expert/bullspinner to write something about it.

Third Thought: Upcoming Posts

I've got some stuff in the works, including an upcoming virtual book tour with Kathy Balland. I'll have a copy of her book (signed!) to give away. I'm going to do an interview with her, so if there are any questions you have for her, please let me know so I can get my interview prepped!

Shiny Happy People (make me sick). I've been considering writing a blog post about my attitude. Sometimes I get really, really tired of people telling me how important a good attitude is and how much more you can accomplish with a positive attitude and lemons into lemonade, blah blah blah... I have a craptastic attitude, and I'm here to tell you that even us sourpusses can succeed! Would you all be interested in listening to my rant on that particular subject?

The Hair and Makeup Syndrom. Ever notice how different people look in their before and after pictures? I'd like to explore the nature of the beast... anyone interested in that? Thoughts? Commentary?

Fourth Thought: No, not really.

It's not, since I didn't know how much my weigh in would be pre-falling over, but for those of you here for Healthy You, I'm down .4 this week. I'm not sure that counts, tho, since I was all (according to everyone else. I felt ok. A little tired, but ok...) freaked out yesterday. It was exasperating, actually, since my husband wouldn't let me stay home alone while he went to give blood, and made Leslie babysit me. Eyeroll.

Anyway, before I fell over onto an anthill yesterday and got swarmed (literally. It was scary and freaky...) those were my thoughts.


javakit said...

Thanks for the humorous post! Love reading what you have to say!

Summer said...

Sorry about the ants. I'm shuddering just thinking about it.

The Hair and Makeup Syndrome is definitely of interest to me. There is a LOT that can be done to make someone look better in a photo without resorting to Photoshop. Camera angles. Flattering clothing. The angle and strength of the light. And perhaps most important for diet/fitness before and after shots -- the pose and posture. I could go right this moment and take two photos of myself, one all slumpy and one standing tall with my ribs up and stomach tight, using all the model's tricks and tweaks I've learned, and you would swear that I'd dropped ten pounds between photos.

Hanlie said...

I'm totally in awe of these 6 hour walks! Where do you pee? Do you pee or do you sweat it all out?

Liz Brooks said...

Well of course I'm posting. You asked for opinions. Have you ever known me to NOT have opinions? ;-)

Declaring goal: Unless you're given your goal (say, by your doctor) then I feel any goal you pick before you get there is just a guess: "I think when I get to 130, I'll be content with my weight." If you've gotten to a point where you're content with your weight, and you've got a couple pounds of wiggle room, and your doctor is happy with you, then declare it done.

Guest posts: I'm always happy to talk, if you have a slot you need to fill. I can't promise to be as entertaining as you, but I sure can talk.

Upcoming Posts: I definitely want you to do all those posts.

Rachel said...

Thoughts on declaring your goal:

You look beautiful. You feel and are healthier than you were. You have established a lifestyle that you have proven you can hold onto. Did I mention you look beautiful ;) I think you say you are there :) I agree with Liz that unless given a specific number by your doctor any number you pick in advance is really just a guess. You won't know how you feel when you get there.

*hugs and love to you*

Rebeca said...

I'm so over goal weights... eff them... aside from weight watchers payments I just feel like it's more about how you feel and where your body is comfortable while still being healthy... but my votes for 134 officially (and you can make your personal goal whatever you want :) ).

Cathy said...

Hi!! I am one of the lurkers who have followed your struggles. And still like everyone else asks, how did you do it? I am a struggling single mom of 3 kids ranging in age from 13-5yrs old, and let me tell you, its hard. All 3 of my kids are grazers, they never want to eat healthy, they are really tiny(from their fathers side of the family)..literally they are in the 10% of height/weight for their age category, and I was raised on the philosophy that you don't waste food, so whatever they don't eat on their plates, I finish for them. Like you, I am in Richmond, VA. If you have any words of wisdom/advise, please share!!

Natalia said...

I think that when we set a goal weight, it's just a number. It's something else entirely if your body is saying it's comfortable where it's at. The fact that you're not struggling to stay at this current weight trumps any number you may have picked at the beginning of your journey! You should be very proud of yourself! You made it!!!! :)


Anonymous said...

I love that you are content with your body even though it's not your goal weight. Life is not about numbers, but about feeling good about yourself.