When I was a child, like no older than nine, I developed a massive crush on my dad's best friend, Tip.
Tippy was sweet and didn't talk to me like I was an idiot. He was good looking, tall and thin, with a ready smile. I always looked forward to seeing him, and generally held him in my mind as one of the ideals of manhood. I think I gave up hope of getting him to notice me as a woman... oh, when I was like 27. Like. At my wedding.
I saw him this weekend, for the first time in like 2 years. (Last year, as you might recall, we decided to skip my dad's annual 4th of July BBQ because we weren't ready to face buffet-style eating...)
So, you know, the last time Tip saw me, I weighed in at over 200 pounds.
When he saw me, he gave me a big hug and kiss and said in my ear, "My god, you look fantastic!"
And when he went to leave, he picked me up and spun me around a few times. "You know I love you, right, kid?"
Watch out, Thomas... your competition is back.