Which, one would think, wouldn't be enough to piss me off. Except that if you've been reading here for any length of time, you know that it is.
I'm averaging a weight loss of about two and a half to three pounds a month. I mean, I know... I'm supposed to be happy because things are trending downward, and blah blah blah.
I keep waiting for the moment.
The moment where I realize how worth it this whole struggle has been... the moment where I notice how much more energy I have. The moment where I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself.
Fortunately, my continued efforts have nothing to do with that moment.
Because I haven't had it yet.
My getting up in the morning routine still includes a quick check in the mirror that says "Yep, still fat."
I don't look like I have less than ten pounds to lose. I look like I have a massive spare tire around my middle. If I could lose another thirty pounds I might look okay.
I guess I was thinking I might look pretty. At some point.
I mean, sometimes I have a moment, but it's not even a full moment. More like a micro-second in which I think Maybe I don't look entirely bad.
This, despite the fact that I just ordered new clothes. Again.
I don't have many clothes that fit. I have three pairs of shorts (two Smalls and a 5/6) and maybe a dozen t-shirts or tank tops that look good. I currently have no bras that actually fit (yes, I know, you can tell. I've been told. The next person who tells me I need a new bra better cough up $40 so I can buy a few, or shut up. Ok? Ok.) and only three pairs of undies that aren't waaaaay too big. I've undergrown my shoes again, so all my nice high heels that I bought (after going from a 9 to a 7.5, I really would have thought my damn feet were done shrinking!) have a half inch gap between my heel and the back of the shoe. Which is apparently very noticable in the various pictures I've taken recently, since everyone's pointed out how much I look like a little kid in Mommy's Dress Up Clothes.
I went into the Target and Old Navy the other day to try clothes on; see I have a $25 gift card for Old Navy, but it's only usable online. And I needed to know what my size was, since I don't want to order a 6 and need an 8.
Except, the shorts that fit? Are 4s.
Will someone please tell me; what the