Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Bad Attitude

"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
"Only fools are positive."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
-- Ferngully, Batty Koda and Zak Young

"Enjoy the journey..."
-- Beth

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
-- Winston Churchill

I could go on...

But I won't.

I have a bad attitude. I'm cranky, sarcastic, snarky, negative. I'm pessimistic. I hate everything and everyone. Yes, even you. And your mother. And your mother's pumpkin pie.


You know, you positive people out there. You suck! Your chipper little attitudes and your Lee-press on smile and your smug little quotes...

Bite me.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard it, since I started watching my weight: If you don't think you can do it, you can't.

A good attitude makes it all possible.

(And by assumption/default, a bad attitude makes everything impossible.)

Oh, puh-leeeeeze!

Excuse me while I vomit up sunshine, unicorns and sparkly vampire sex. (Sorry, been reading Twilight recently... and while I love it, don't get me wrong, it is very often completely over the top and morbidly cutesy, a combination I never thought I'd see.)

You do not. Need. A positive attitude to accomplish ANYTHING.

If there's something worse than constantly having cutesy little pithy phrases rained over me like some fluffy bunny jerking off rainbows onto my head, it's being told that I should work on my attitude.

Fuck. You. Forget that.

Weight loss is work.

Exercising is work.

Being happy is also work.

Question: Why do I have to do everything?

The simple answer: I don't.

I do not have to be happy.

I do not have to have a good attitude.

I can still accomplish my goal without it.

Now, I'll admit, Thomas has had an easier time of it... he has lost weight faster, easier. And honestly, except for that second meeting, he's been relatively laid back about the whole thing... now, one might wonder (and I do...) does his good attitude come from the fact that the whole thing has been easier for him, or has it been easier for him because of his good attitude?

He doesn't think they're related like that, not cause and effect, at any rate. He does think that my attitude (I freak out about weight gains, I get mad at TV commercials with food porn, I spend a lot of time wanting to bite someone's hand off...) makes things harder for me. That if I would relax a bit, it may take just as long, and it might be just as much work, but at least I wouldn't be so stressed about it.

(As a note, when I make the same suggestion about not stressing when it applies to his JOB... he's not so good...)

Honestly, I get a bit irate by the over-emphasis on "positive attitudes".

I mean, does anyone else feel like a freak show about this? Am I the only one who doesn't have a list of perky, pithy quotes stuck to my fridge? Who wants to shove "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" down some obnoxious idiot's throat?

Hi, my name is Lynn.

I have a bad attitude and I've lost 85 pounds.

(Lost .2 pounds this week... well "at least it's not a gain...")


Felicia said...

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

LOL sorry had to *grin*. I hear ya though. Good day or bad day you still have to work towards your goal!

Congrats on your loss! But sorry to hear about the attitude. My unasked for 2 cents is that you will still get where your going no matter your attitude but the journey is nicer and even a bit quicker with a smile.

You can barf now...


Twix said...

:D mmmmm cheese barfing unicorns might hurt!

Anonymous said...

well said!

Aimee said...

the last line "well, at least it's not a gain" kept me laughing for 10 mins.

love it, love your blog.

Summer said...

Sometimes I think those positive-thinking platitudes are what people spout when they have no idea what they're talking about. It goes beyond dieting -- I've heard way too many comments of that nature relating to infertility, all of them implying that I'd get pregnant if I just relaaaax. Ok, hotshot, then why did I get pregnant when I fled DC because of the post-9/11 anthrax attacks? Why did I get pregnant again six weeks after losing that baby in the 5th month? I can tell you for damn sure that I was not relaxed and happy when I conceived, either time.

So snark away, sister. It makes for interesting reading.

Hanlie said...

You always entertain me... More important than being positive is being true to ourselves and I think you're doing a great job with that! You are allowed to be unapologetically YOU!

Lee said...

I'm so with you.

Cammy@TippyToeDiet said...

I tend to be of the perky persuasion most of the time, but I still get what you're saying. It doesn't really matter whether you're perky or crabby, you just have to get the work done.

MizFit said...

Im with Cammy and yet Im not.
Im perky for others because I BELIEVE IN THEM.

for myself?
many days?


loved this post as it normalized a lot for me this morning...

King of New York Hacks said...

I like that movie my blue heaven with steve martin where he plays a gangster and has to move to California...Everyone is so polite its unnnerving to him , so he hers " Good Morning " and he replies " Fuuuuuu***** YOOOOOUUUU !!!" thinking somehow the person wanted something...clasic !!

Journo June aka MamaBear said...

We all need to have our snarky days. I'm a little bi-polar that way. Sometimes extremely positive and perky and at other times ranting against the world. It works for me. ;-)
Path to Health

Crabby McSlacker said...

I suppose it's kind of obvious from my name and blog that I AM SO TOTALLY WITH YOU ON THIS!!!!!

Well said!

Sunshine Mama said...

You can do it!! Just kidding, Just kidding!

Stumbled across your blog and I think that when I go on a diet I have a different personality. I don't think I'm as happy and carefree, perhaps because of the calorie restriction perchance? But I agree, sometimes it's just work. I've been at the same weight for a week now...just gotta keep at it though...whether I'm happy or not.

Kimberly said...

We come in all shapes and sizes. I'm not the sunny, perky type either. I am more of a realist.

As long as you are losing weight you don't have to plaster on a fake personality to do it.

And yeah, dieting and exercise is hard ass work! It it were easy we wouldn't have gotten into the shape we did in the first place.

Lynn said...

Thanks for the laugh! Glad you are doing well...