I don't really know what I want to say today... all my thoughts are all tangled up. It's... erm... that time of the month for me, so I know my Weigh In isn't going to be good today; not because I'm cheating or I'm over points, or I haven't done my walks... I have. There's just not much I can do about biology and I'm afraid that's going to reflect in the scales. (as a note, I have some pretty bad PMS today. Not the stereotypical angry going to kill someone hate all men sort, but the moody, gloomy kind. So, you can just skip this entry if you want to, since I don't think I'm doing anything aside from letting the ANTs go marching... two by two...)
I've been reading a lot of other blogs and looking at weight loss videos on You Tube... and I'm just not feeling encouraged. Everyone else is losing 4.2 pounds a week, or whatever... Not that I'm not happy for them, I am... but it's not me and it's not happening. The first week, I lost 1.2 pounds. and Thomas gained .4... He was angry and discouraged and I made a huge big deal over the fact that .4 pounds wasn't a huge gain, and that we were just starting, and it was going to take him some time to find out what worked for him. So of course, the second week, he lost 3.2 pounds (for a total loss of 2.8) and I only lost .4 pounds. Well, I tried to encourage myself, at least it's still a loss. But that .4 which was so insignificant last week seems just as insignificant this week.
I seem to be spending a lot of time focusing on the "I Can't..." (I'm reminded - somewhat macabrely - of Johnny Depp in Once Upon a Time in Mexico... "So, are you a MexiCAN or a MexiCan't?")
I can't exercise vigorously.
I can't stop thinking about food.
I can't be perky and positive.
I can't get encouraged by small gains.
Listening to myself, it's getting annoying.
So, just for today, I'm going to think about those things I can do.
I can walk for a mile.
I can write down everything I eat.
I can stay on points for three weeks.
I can chose the better snack.
I can get and keep my house clean.
I can plan points-friendly, family dinners every night for a week.
I can do everything on my to-do list before Thomas gets home from work.
I can do this for one day. And then I can do it for one more day. And then I can do it for another day after that. Eventually, all the days I can continue to do this will add up.
I can do this for myself.
I can do this for the people I love.