Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Pick Three

Good news.

And Bad News.

HI! Haven't seen you all in a while, how the hell are ya?

Let's start with the bad news.

We all know that I fell off the healthy eating wagon, right? I mean, c'mon, no one here is stupid. When a weight-loss blogger disappears, it usually means they've gained weight and they don't want to deal with it.

I weighed in today for the first time in 112 days. (So says my Wii Fit. It didn't ask me where I'd been, or be snarky, tho, and I'm happy about that.)

I've only gained 2.4 pounds since the last time I weighed in, tho, and that's a really good thing.

On the other hand, say hello to the 150's again. So, I've gained about 25 pounds back in the last ... eh, I'd guess 18 months or so since I really just stopped paying attention. (On the other hand, when I got on the scale this morning, I told myself I wasn't allowed to freak the fuck out unless I was back to the 180s. And I'm not. So I'm not.)

Had a nasty shock at the Old Navy the other day getting new shorts.


Nothing I can do about that now except try to fix it.

I said something to a friend of mine the other day that went along these lines: Keep my house clean / Be a good mom / Watch what I eat and exercise / Be a Good Wife / Write / Have a Social Life : Pick three.

I can sometimes handle four of those at a time, if I give two of them half-priority. Like, be a good mom before 5pm and be a good wife after 5pm.

So... I need to have a sit down with myself and figure this out. Do I need to be less than 150 pounds? Is that absolutely critical? Does my house NEED to be clean? (and bitch, don't even go there. we're not talking about stepford family clean or anything, but generic household chores and getting dinner cooked and whatnot... I'm not ever going to live in a house you could white glove. No matter what else I gave up.) Does my child need a good mother, or can she live with one that's just so-so?

On the other hand...

Concentrating on the other priority in my life, the one I don't talk about much here (keep your eyes open if you care... I may start a blog about that elsewhere)...

I'm now, officially, a published writer.

My short story will be published in the upcoming anthology Steamlust. (I didn't make the name. Personally I liked the working title, Clockworks and Corsets, better...)

It's not a lot. It's one short story.

At the same time, it's everything.

Being a writer has been the one goal I've always had. Never really lost sight of. Wanted. Longed for. Dreamed about.

Finally, a few months ago... I decided to stop fucking around and DO something about it.

And in October, I'm going to hold my very first published work in my hands.

Oh, and before I forget... I'm doing the Susan G Komen 3 day again.


Liz Brooks said...

Oh, god. Thank you for that.

I mean, seriously. I've been going completely out of my head for weeks now: Gained 15 pounds over the last four or five months, slacking off on the gym, slacking off on the writing, getting frustrated with the push-pull of our social life (I want to spend time with our friends, but it eats up so much TIME!), keeping up at work only because things are slow and I'm putting in the bare minimum, constantly guilty about the state of the house and not spending enough time with the kids, blah blah blah Mommy-Guilt Fishcakes.

And trying to stay (mostly, sort of) quiet about it, because I KNOW everyone else is in the same boat and no one else is whining, are they?

And then you post something like this and it kind of hits me right in the stomach with its rightness. Can't do it all. Can. Not. Pick three. Yes. Exactly. I feel like I'm only giving 20% to everything because that's all I have to give.

It doesn't help me figure out what to sacrifice so I can bump everything else up to 30 or even 40%, but it does help me keep the problem in perspective.

Thanks, hon.

(And congrats again on the book!) :-)

Cammy@TippyToeDiet said...

Congratulations on being published, Lynn! I'm so happy for you!

As for the weight and balance and choices...wouldn't it be wonderful if there was one True and Right answer?

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's awesome about being published - how cool to have a dream come true!!!

And I love the "I can focus on three things" damn true.