Bad Attitude

"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
"Only fools are positive."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
"..."
-- Ferngully, Batty Koda and Zak Young

"Enjoy the journey..."
-- Beth

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
-- Winston Churchill

I could go on...

But I won't.

I have a bad attitude. I'm cranky, sarcastic, snarky, negative. I'm pessimistic. I hate everything and everyone. Yes, even you. And your mother. And your mother's pumpkin pie.

Seethe.

You know, you positive people out there. You suck! Your chipper little attitudes and your Lee-press on smile and your smug little quotes...

Bite me.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard it, since I started watching my weight: If you don't think you can do it, you can't.

A good attitude makes it all possible.

(And by assumption/default, a bad attitude makes everything impossible.)

Oh, puh-leeeeeze!

Excuse me while I vomit up sunshine, unicorns and sparkly vampire sex. (Sorry, been reading Twilight recently... and while I love it, don't get me wrong, it is very often completely over the top and morbidly cutesy, a combination I never thought I'd see.)

You do not. Need. A positive attitude to accomplish ANYTHING.

If there's something worse than constantly having cutesy little pithy phrases rained over me like some fluffy bunny jerking off rainbows onto my head, it's being told that I should work on my attitude.

Fuck. You. Forget that.

Weight loss is work.

Exercising is work.

Being happy is also work.

Question: Why do I have to do everything?

The simple answer: I don't.

I do not have to be happy.

I do not have to have a good attitude.

I can still accomplish my goal without it.

Now, I'll admit, Thomas has had an easier time of it... he has lost weight faster, easier. And honestly, except for that second meeting, he's been relatively laid back about the whole thing... now, one might wonder (and I do...) does his good attitude come from the fact that the whole thing has been easier for him, or has it been easier for him because of his good attitude?

He doesn't think they're related like that, not cause and effect, at any rate. He does think that my attitude (I freak out about weight gains, I get mad at TV commercials with food porn, I spend a lot of time wanting to bite someone's hand off...) makes things harder for me. That if I would relax a bit, it may take just as long, and it might be just as much work, but at least I wouldn't be so stressed about it.

(As a note, when I make the same suggestion about not stressing when it applies to his JOB... he's not so good...)

Honestly, I get a bit irate by the over-emphasis on "positive attitudes".

I mean, does anyone else feel like a freak show about this? Am I the only one who doesn't have a list of perky, pithy quotes stuck to my fridge? Who wants to shove "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" down some obnoxious idiot's throat?

Hi, my name is Lynn.

I have a bad attitude and I've lost 85 pounds.

(Lost .2 pounds this week... well "at least it's not a gain...")