Further Investigation

Picture me.

I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor in the living room.

I am covered in a thin film of greyish dust.

I am sneezing a lot.

My hair is a mess, tangled and unwashed (and dusty! Don't forget that part!) and pinned back with an alligator clip.

On the floor in front of me is the vacuum cleaner.

Wait, wait, go back.... about a month ago...

"Thomas, dear?"

"Yes?"

"Could you look at the vacuum when you have some time? It's making some weird noises."

"Sure."

About two weeks ago...

"Thomas?"

"Yes?"

"Have you had time to look at the vacuum?"

"Oh, I forgot. I'll do it this weekend."

Yesterday...

"I need to vacuum tomorrow before Jeanne gets here."

"Ok?"

"You still haven't looked at the vacuum like I asked?"

"Oh, right. I'll get it tomorrow after work."

This morning...

Me, staring at the vacuum. "Ok, fine. I'll look at the bloody thing."

Some time later...

I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor in the living room.

I am covered in a thin film of greyish dust.

I am sneezing a lot.

My hair is a mess, tangled and unwashed (and dusty! Don't forget that part!) and pinned back with an alligator clip.

On the floor in front of me is the vacuum cleaner.

I'm not really very mechanically inclined, but really, taking the wretched thing apart wasn't that hard. Dirty, yes, but not hard.

I opened the bottom, pulled out the roller brush (and a whole lot of hair, dust and bits of paper.). The belt came out, too. Snapped.

"Aha!" says I. "This would be why it's not working."

I get up, go to the computer, and look up a replacement belt. Easy. $3.99, plus shipping and handling.

I go back to the vacuum and begin cleaning it. May as well, since it's open anyway.

In attempting to put the roller brush back in, I notice that the side of it is badly mangled, and when inserted into its position, doesn't actually turn.

"Well, guess that's why the belt broke," says me.

I get BACK up, go BACK to the computer, and look up a replacement roller brush. Easy. $19.99, plus shipping and handling.

I go BACK to the vacuum. I look at it. "You are really a lot of trouble," I inform it.

It doesn't say anything. Vacuums seldom do.

Around the vacuum is a huge cloud of dust and debris. The new parts probably won't arrive for at least a week.

My floor is a mess.

SIGH.

I'm going to have to plug in the mini-attachment and vacuum the entire floor while crawling around on my hands and knees.