Sunday, October 3, 2010

F&*% You, Weight Watchers!

[Insert standard disclaimer here about falling off the wagon, gaining weight, not posting, etc etc that you've all heard about 100 times if you follow weight loss blogs at all. I'm not going to repost it.]

I stopped going to Weight Watchers back in August. After an unsuccessful attempt to move my goal weight (from 134 to 139)... well, let me rephrase that... moving the goal weight was successful. And then I blew right past it. The idea was, according to my weight loss leader, Beth, (who I still love and I sometimes feel like a horrid person for abandoning her!) to reduce some of the pressure on me... that if I didn't feel so much like I needed to maintain at 134, I wouldn't stress so much, and I would just naturally lose the weight.

It's ok, you can laugh. (I've screamed, cursed, swore, and otherwise acted like all kinds of Crazy, but whatever works for you.)


So... I managed to stay at 139 (or within 2 pounds of it) for most of July, and then a bit of August... and then I continued right on up. I don't know that I'll ever quite forget that annoying little noise the Wii Fit makes when I step on it and it tells me I'm "overweight". It's a mocking little noise and my Mii looks down at herself in shock and horror. (in case you've never seen it, I've gotten QUITE USED to my Mii with the triumphant horns and jumping up in the air when the weight comes up as "normal")

I'll say this for the Wii Fit. It is just as mocking and cruel as kids back in the fifth grade. Like I don't have enough problems; lets add mockery from my scale?

So... yeah.

I ran right up to 143 or so.

Now, on the BMI scale, that's only overweight for my height by 2 pounds. So, what's the big deal, right? The big deal is that I've gained almost 7 pounds this year, and nearly 10 from when I hit goal. And it wasn't showing any signs of slowing down. Even adjusting my goal weight wasn't keeping me "free".

And with joining a gym (I love my gym... it's clean, it's friendly, it's not a meat market. I love my classes...) which costs $30 a month, I was having a lot of trouble justifying the $12 a week I was spending at Weight Watchers for the privileged of hearing Beth go over the same information week after week after week. Honestly, I've been going to WW for three years (ish) now. There's not much new they can tell me. I know what they think I'm supposed to do. I know. Whether I'm actually listening, or just hearing, I haven't really been GETTING anything out of it for a while now.

Over the last three years or so, I've tried tracking about 80 different ways. I've used weight watchers paper journals, I've used the online site. I've used Spark People. I've made my own paper journals. And honestly, very little has worked for me long term. I've always felt annoyed, blown it off, forgotten about it... (also, it doesn't help in the SLIGHTEST that Thomas doesn't need to track AT ALL and the bastard is still as skinny as a rail...) But I know I need to track, so back in September I've tried to be better about my tracking.

I managed to track for almost all of September. I was still mostly following Weight Watchers guidelines - getting 19 points a day, trying for my vegetables and stuff. (As a note, when you're down to 19 points a freaking day, there's no room for anything that's not your dairies/vegetables/protein.... seriously. Screw grains, you're not getting any flipping grains! Your two oil servings are 2 points, 2 dairy servings are 2-4 points, 5 f/v are 2-3 points if you happen to really like apples, which I do!, and 2 protein servings 5-8 points per day... that's 11-17 points a day right there... and a cup of brown rice is 3 points.)

And you know what? I was still sneaking up in weight. And sometimes it wasn't a sneak. I'd be doing "perfectly well" and I'd drop 0.2 pounds. -0.4 pounds. And then POW! Gain 2.8 pounds in a single day.

Truly, this was NOT working.

So, talking with one of my online friends, I decided I'd try something else.

Enter the F&^# You, Weight Watcher's Plan.

Before you get upset and defend the plan, allow me to say this: It did work for me. For years. I wouldn't be where I am now without it. And even 10 pounds over goal weight is not someplace I ever thought I'd be. I never thought I'd be wearing size 4 or 6.

It's just not working NOW.

And I'm upset.

Whether I should be upset with myself or the plan, I don't care. I'm blaming the plan.

I joined Spark People, and as I don't have access to the Online Tools, I'd been using that to track. Every single day it was telling me "Hey, bitch, you don't eat enough!" Ok, so it wasn't saying it like that... I'm allowed some creative licensing.

I've gone through this before. I get so obsessed with Eat Less, Move More. I mean, it's what you hear ALL the time...

So I'd work out three times a week, go for walks 2 - 3 times a week, and eat as little as humanly possible. (Seriously, I haven't eaten so much as a bite of pizza in 2 years!) And it was NOT working. I wasn't eating my flex points. I wasn't eating my Activity Points. I was hungry, angry, and gaining weight.

So, I decided, about a week ago, since I was gaining weight *ANYWAY*, that I would experiment.

I'd see if maybe Spark People had a clue.

They don't "reward" exercise with more food. Nutrition and fitness are completely separate. You set up a goal for working out and you set up a goal for losing weight.

Spark People said I should be getting 1,500 - 1,800 calories per day to lose 1.5 pounds a week. (Ish.) According to my strict Eat Less WW policy, with my 19 points, I was getting between 900 and 1,200 calories a day.

So starting on Monday, I pushed it. I was gaining weight anyway. I hadn't seen the inside of a WW meeting hall in over a month. It wasn't going to matter to anyone BUT ME if I put on another five pounds.

Instead of counting points, I've been counting calories. Not worrying so much about fat content. Not worrying about high fiber foods. (Especially not the crap I've been eating recently trying to keep my points down, like absurdly high fiber yogurt. I mean, really? What is IN THAT stuff anyway. It's YOGURT. There shouldn't be FIBER in my yogurt!) Not worrying about getting in my "healthy oils". Tracking how many fruits and vegetables I've been getting, how many grams of protein.

This is only week one. It may change.

But this week, I've gone from 141.1 to 138. That's over three pounds.

In a week!

And I'm less cranky, less hungry, and feeling LOADS better.

Thanks for getting me to where I am, WW... but it may very well be past time to part ways.

It's not you.

It's me.


♥ Drazil ♥ said...

Awesome - I hope this is the plan that works for you right now!

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

Good for you!
I've have my ups and downs on WW.
Currently in a down period right now. I got to the point where I was obsessing over points. Not healthy.
Good luck on further weight loss!

wahoostampingirl said...

Good for you for eating more. I think a lot of people really try to lose weight on too few calories. But, why the F-U towards WW? You can add the 35 weekly points and your earned APs and be doing the same thing as adding more calories.

Anyhow, sounds like a change up is what you need right now, so good luck.

Kimberly said...

I am totally with you. I've tried the no eating thing (or really restricted) and invariably the weight always comes back. I am not even counting points now and I have lost 19 pounds since August 27th.

I bet you feel better too. I know I do. WW got me started, but I didn't need it for life. I've got this now.

Natalia said...

I think it's great that you have re-evaluated what you need to do to maintain! I'm doing WW right now and I have a LOT of weight to lose. I often wonder how I'm gonna do when I get to goal weight! Kudo's to you for moving on!!!!!

Anonymous said...

you've definitely got to do what works for you! kudos on the loss! that said, ww does seem to work for me, when I track what I eat (I keep a journal of what food I eat and what emotions I'm feeling, because I'm a former binge eater). one thing I *definitely* noticed on ww, though, is that "mixing it up" generally works for me-- that is, some times I follow the plan very closely, and other times I'm more relaxed about it (still journal, though). inevitably, after a period of eating *more* calories, I experience a big-ish loss. I guess that's what flex points are for, but the ww program I follow was pre-flex points.

anyway: do whatever works for you, and don't forget to pat yourself on the back for maintaining the bulk of your weight loss!

Dinneen @EatWithoutGuilt said...

Congratulations on doing what YOU feel is right.

Here's the deal: tracking, counting (point, calories, fat grams, whatever) can be good short term, but doesn't work in the long run.

As you've found this week, by tuning in more to you and what your body wants -- you've lost weight.

I think it's time for you to get to the core of WHY you gained weight in the first place. And don't tell me it's because of the food -- it's never ONLY about that.

Once you get there, feel better in your skin (yes, it IS possible), you can forget all the 'tracking' and going to meetings feel like a failure. (that's why I'm not 'big' on those programs).

Seriously, everything you said in your post is what I hear all the time from my clients. And there IS another way of doing it -- and it's not another diet or tracking system.

It's about finding what works for YOU. I help my clients get to that place. Because it's so difficult to see it yourself. And as you said -- you KNOW all the 'diet' and healthy stuff...what to eat, what not to eat.

That's not the issue - it's something more.

And I'm proud you walked away from what wasn't working for you!

debby said...

I could so relate to what you said in this post. I also lost my weight on W.W. and then it quit working for me. Since I quit I gained a little, worked out with a personal trainer for a year and learned to eat really really healthy delicious 'clean' foods. Lost a little, gained it back. Right now I am trying to maintain at a higher weight than is recommended on the charts, but it just might be right for me. I'm glad you're eating a little more, and it sounds like a little better food.