Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cereal Killer

I've been whinging quite a lot recently about "I don't know why my weight keeps going up."

Oh, liar liar.

I know.

Believe me, I know.

(And really, you probably did, too. Admit it, we all do this when we read some poor weight-warrior whinging on about it... "well, I bet you've been eating too much. or not working out enough. Or both. Shut up and get back on the wagon, slacker." In various mental tones of niceness. Weight loss is simple. Eat less, move more. Doing it is hard.)

I mean, yes, we all have our weird weight fluctuations. Too much salt can cause a bump, or that time of the month, an overindulgence in cheetos or whatever... but usually, they're fluctuations. Up for a few days, and then back down...

This has... NOT been an aberration. This has been me up .2, up .2, up .4, up .6, down 1 (net of +.4, for those of you less mathematically inclined.) (Completely off the topic here, does anyone else have problems spelling mathematically? I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't SAY math eh mat i cal lee. I say Math mat ick lee. Therefore, I cannot spell mathematically right the first time. Ever.)

I've been paying for Weight Watchers more than I've been free. I usually manage to trim down about once a month to skate in under my limit (I haven't actually NOT made it back into my range at least once a month since November, but each time I make it into the range, it's higher than the last time. April, I made it into my range at 135.8 with a .2 margin of safety.) but I have been consistently up 2 or 3 pounds for the last three months.

Part of my problem has been a lack of something to train for. I miss my long-ass walks and I miss some of the freedom of wandering off the path of what I can eat that went with them. If I'm not exercising several times a week, I had better not stray off my 23 points a day. Without some goal to train for, I've been finding it harder and harder to get my ass down to the fitness center. (I blamed the weather, it was too cold, too rainy, too snowy to walk down there... I blamed the other people who use the fitness center; one whole time I was there, three of the four machines were in use and I don't like the recumbent bike. We all know who was to blame here, right? me!)

Part of my problem has been this annoying sense of entitlement I have. I'm mad, all the time mad, with my husband. Thomas has had a lot of trouble NOT losing weight. Annoying. As. Shit. And let me tell ya, having to live with someone who's whinging about being down another three pounds this week, even AFTER he had TWO DOUGHNUTS is just about enough to make any sane person stuff a few eclairs down their throats. Not to mention that in order to keep him from slipping down the drain when he takes a shower, we've had to stock the house with more high-calorie foods.

But mostly my problem has been nibbling.

I rarely sit down and scarf a 6 point doughnut. But I will eat a 100-cal pack, and 15 minutes later, I'll have another one. And 15 minutes after that, I'll have a piece of cheese. And 5 minutes after that (the cheese doesn't even last until I get out of the freaking KITCHEN!) I'll have an apple. And then I'll have a cup of dry cereal. And if I'm not paying attention, I'll have ANOTHER cup.

None of these things by themselves is the problem. It's that in less than 45 minutes, I've eaten 11 points. Frequently in addition to my 23 points that I'm allotted for the day. Honestly, I should just go ahead and eat the freaking doughnut, right? Then I'd only be 6 points behind, instead of 11.

My biggest problem is that damn cold cereal.

Technically, I buy the stuff for Darcy. In actuality, Thomas and I eat 95% of it. Thomas for breakfast on days he's not headed in to work; me, in a coffee cup, in front of the computer. And again, if I would just have one cup, that'd be fine.

But I don't.

I have one cup... and then 15 minutes later, I'll have another cup... and then another one... one serving of cold pre-sweetened cereal is 100-140 calories. (and, of course, a serving is often like 3/4 of a cup...) There are 14 servings in a box. When that box is empty in 3 days... well...

yeah.

For a while, I was asking Thomas to point it out to me, if I was eating the stuff, so that I'd stop. And I was okay for a while. And now? I'm just eating it when he's at work. Or in the evenings, when I'm reading in the other room. When he doesn't see me.

I'm sneaking food?

Jesus.

So, I fessed up with him about it today. And now I'm fessing up with you.

One of the things that Weight Watcher's suggests as a Tool for Living is Ask for Help. So, I'm asking.

HOW do I keep myself from doing this? I am nibbling myself right out of my weight range, and I must say, I don't like it very much. I feel guilty. And slack. And stupid. And I don't like feeling that way.

9 comments:

Leigh said...

This is a tough one, and one I've been struggling with myself lately too. Last year I did all that work to get back to my goal weight, and then thanks to Life Happening, I'm back up to bobbling around goal weight +10lbs. And I *know* it's a result of not paying attention to what I'm eating and not exercising regularly. But I just can't seem to get off my butt (literally or figuratively) and do something about it.

I just signed up for the Pound for Pound Challenge (Followed the link to Carolina Cowgirl from the bottom of your post here, and she was talking about it). No idea if that will help motivate me, but it couldn't hurt.

Meanwhile, there is no silver bullet answer, besides "Just do it". And I hate getting that kind of advice from people; duh, if I could "just do it", I would have just done it and there'd be nothing to talk about. So I'll just say good luck, and know I'm cheering for you.

Summer said...

I hear you about the nibbling. What I wind up doing is not thinking about food until suddenly I'm shaking with hunger, and then I can't even focus enough to construct a real meal for myself and I find my face inside a bag of tortilla chips or my arm wedged up to the elbow in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Not good. I seem to do better when I make the effort to eat on a regular schedule, and when I eat a hearty amount at each meal, I have less urge to snack.

It's such a cliche, but that old diet rule to eat only at the table, off a real plate... it's a cliche for a reason. If you're hungry, make yourself a substantial snack or a real meal, put it on a plate, get yourself a big glass of water, and sit down at your designated eating area to enjoy it. Be aware of eating it. Feel that your stomach is full when you're done. I truly believe that I wind up eating fewer calories when I make sure that I eat to satiety at meals than when I eat small meals and then wind up sucking peanut butter off a spoon an hour later.

I'm also a great believer in the power of caffeine as an appetite suppressant. Coffee is a glorious thing!

Jeanne said...

Looking at when you snack, and knowing my own nasty snack habits... might you be snacking because you're bored?

From what you've said, it doesn't sound like you're doing it because you're super-hungry. It's when you're reading, or on the computer, or watching TV, right? You said it yourself last post-- you've turned into an active person. Eating is an activity... not a really productive one, granted, but it's something to DO while you're sitting there entertaining your brain (but not the rest of your body).

Maybe you could try diversionary tactics... when you get up for a snack, do a quick Flylady chore instead. If you're STILL hungry, go ahead and eat something then. (One of the ladies in my WW meeting got into the habit of going out to take a walk around the block every time she got the snacking bug.) I've been keeping a pack of gum by the TV.

Trisaratops said...

First of all - you're not stupid. Puh-leeze. I am a serious nibbler! I plan my healthy meals, and then find myself eating cheese and peanut butter purely because I want to. Which is silly, because it stops my goals. And "they" always say to stop in the moment, ask yourself am I hungry, why am I eating this way, then, etc. I can rarely do that. Here's what makes me stop. When I can look at the food in my hand and say "Sara, you don't need this" I put some gum in my mouth (mint gum ruins the taste of most foods), and start the laundry, or play with the dog, or find a shiny object to stare at - I'm pretty easily distracted. :) If I HAVE to have that gorgeous cheese, I write it down and then the next day, I have a completely "on plan" day, and I feel better. You are recognizing your behavior - and oh my, I would go nutso with the husband who can't stop losing, so you have my absolute empathy there. You have been successful, you can do it again, promise.

Cammy said...

I struggle with this one too from time to time. For me, it's usually boredom, so I've been keeping my daily to-do list visible and staying involved with those projects. Whittling down my open tasks has become the thing I'm working towards, I suppose. Some days I'm successful, some days not.

DeeDee1Whoa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I'm Just Another Fat Girl said...

Dear Lynn,

I just read your comment on Jack Sh*t's blog about your MIL not recognizing you and your hubs (her son) as family. That is freakin hysterical!

Seriously though, you should totally print that comment out and tape it to your cereal box.

On another "Seriously though", get a new workout buddy. Find a friend who's getting married or something. Even if you don't have a goal, your amazing weight loss story would be a great motivator for someone else's goal and you'd be helping yourself stay on track, too, by helping said new buddy.

Jes Sayin.

-jafg

Natalia said...

Hey Lynn - just checking in, hope you are doing ok!

Jenn Barley | The KickStart Coach said...

I say - weigh in every week at Weight Watchers -- not just once a month. It will keep you more honest and as long as the first time you weigh-in you at at goal -- you are free the rest of the month no matter what :)