I've been thinking a lot recently; having 6 hours outside, alone, will do that for you. (Of course, if you follow my twittering adventures, you will also know that 6 hours, alone, outside, in the 90+ degree heat with no cloud cover will also induce vomiting, passing out, wimping out, and accidentally sitting on a freaking ANT's nest... And hey, I'll take A.N.T.s - Automatic Negative Thoughts - over actual physical ants any day of the week!)
What have I been thinking about?
First thought: Declaring goal.
I've been at or below my "acceptable" weight for about 10 weeks now. I crossed under 141 pounds on April 27th, which is the highest my weight can be (without a doctor's note!). Since then, I've been playing hunt and peck with my weight. (I will confess, I have dropped 8.8 pounds since then; but that first week on Geoff's eating plan really kicked my weight loss in the seat of the pants...)
My original stated goal was 125 pounds. And then, since I have to weigh in post-lunch and fully dressed, I decided that I would do 130, since I didn't want to have to actually weigh about 120-122 in order to maintain my WW goals... (street clothes weigh between 2 and 5 pounds... a pair of jeans weighs at least 1 pound and could be as much as 3 pounds. Just in case you wanted to know that.) Now I'm fluttering around 134 - 135; and the weird thing is, I feel so much better about my weight recently.
I think I got some validation with that article that was published at MSNBC. My "problem" wasn't getting loads of sympathy... or at least, not the sort of sympathy I was looking for. I got a lot of exasperated "you look fine, sheesh." and "what the hell is your problem, you're a size 4, for pete's sake." I understand that, I really do. A year ago, I'd have probably been yelling at me, too.
And yet, I wasn't as happy with my weight and my appearance as I thought I'd be when I was looking at the greener pastures from so far away. (I also further think that some of the exasperation directed at me was transferred aggression; "If she doesn't think she looks good at a size 4, what the hell do I look like at a 16, and I was sooo happy about being in a 16...")
Now, however, a mere two weeks after the article was published, I'm feeling better. More comfortable in my body. Vindicated. I'm still not 100% happy, but let's be serious... is anyone 100% happy with anything? There are always going to be things I don't like about myself, or my appearance. The day we decide we can't possibly get any better is the day we should just go out and die.
So, I've been thinking about declaring goal at 135 (what IS it with us and wanting some nice round number... I'm half tempted to declare goal at 134 just to be obstinate and stubborn and weird...)
This will 1) cut down on my monthly outgoing cash, as I will become a lifetime member in ~6 weeks. I haven't had any trouble keeping my weight the same(ish) or continuing to move down. Even my large weight bounces have been in the 1-2 pound ranges.
2) hopefully allow me to relax, a little. Not so much relax about what I'm eating, but damn, stop being obsessed with myself.
3) I still have the option of losing more. Thomas declared his weight goal at 175 and now clocks in at a sweet 162 pounds...
On the other hand, I did SAY I was going to get to 130, and man, I hate not doing something that I said I was going to do.
So, I'm conflicted.
What are your thoughts?
Second Thought: Guest Posts
I'm setting August aside for some guest posts. I've already approached a few writers and dieters about writing guest posts for me and their response has been enthusiastic. So, if you're interested in writing a guest post for me, hit me up in the comments, or shoot me an email at tisfan at gmail dot com. Likewise, if there's something you'd like to see covered here, contact me, or comment me, and I'll see if I can't find an expert/bullspinner to write something about it.
Third Thought: Upcoming Posts
I've got some stuff in the works, including an upcoming virtual book tour with Kathy Balland. I'll have a copy of her book (signed!) to give away. I'm going to do an interview with her, so if there are any questions you have for her, please let me know so I can get my interview prepped!
Shiny Happy People (make me sick). I've been considering writing a blog post about my attitude. Sometimes I get really, really tired of people telling me how important a good attitude is and how much more you can accomplish with a positive attitude and lemons into lemonade, blah blah blah... I have a craptastic attitude, and I'm here to tell you that even us sourpusses can succeed! Would you all be interested in listening to my rant on that particular subject?
The Hair and Makeup Syndrom. Ever notice how different people look in their before and after pictures? I'd like to explore the nature of the beast... anyone interested in that? Thoughts? Commentary?
Fourth Thought: No, not really.
It's not, since I didn't know how much my weigh in would be pre-falling over, but for those of you here for Healthy You, I'm down .4 this week. I'm not sure that counts, tho, since I was all (according to everyone else. I felt ok. A little tired, but ok...) freaked out yesterday. It was exasperating, actually, since my husband wouldn't let me stay home alone while he went to give blood, and made Leslie babysit me. Eyeroll.
Anyway, before I fell over onto an anthill yesterday and got swarmed (literally. It was scary and freaky...) those were my thoughts.