Measure of the (Wo)Man

I'm not particularly good at remembering to post my measurement improvements here.

For that matter, I'm not particularly good at remembering to take them. And for whatever reason, I haven't dated any of them, so the gaps between measurements can be anywhere between 25 days and 45 days. Still, they are a "measure" of my success.

I do, however, wish I knew what my measurements were supposed to be. I haven't been able to locate a web site or chart or graph or anything to tell me what a 5'3" person's waist and hips (and upper arms and thighs...) "should" be.

I took my first set of measurements around the beginning of the year. I didn't really want to, but I did it anyway. And since then, I've tried to remember to measure around the beginning of the month...

The really great thing about measuring has been, unlike my weight, the measurements always maintain or go down. I've never suddenly bulked up. This makes me happy.

So, my measurements for January were as follows:

Upper Arm: 14 inches
Waist: 46 inches
Hips: 52 inches
Upper Thigh: 27 inches

I about died of shame the first time I took those measurements. You hear in songs and on TV and whatnot from time to time about the measurements for the perfect girl (go listen to Brick House, for instance, she's a 36-24-36) and I realized that my THIGH was bigger around than some women's waists.

And over the last few weeks, I've been mildly annoyed with my husband. It's not his fault. He's a guy, he had less weight to lose, and I know that it simply is what it is. His friend at work, Chris, who does Iron Man triathalons, gave him a pair of jeans back in February, since they were a few inches too big for Chris. And yet, Thomas and I both laughed at the jeans. 33/32. "There is no way I'm ever fitting into these jeans," Thomas said. He tossed them on top of his dresser and promptly forgot about them. Two weeks ago, he started wearing them.

I don't know what it is. You'd think I would have noticed how thin my husband was getting. I mean, for frack's sake, I've been here the entire time! And all the sudden, watching him walk in these jeans, I was floored. Absolutely floored. My god, when did my husband develop the world's best ass? Seriously. (Yes, ladies, I will try to get a picture of said choice bit of anatomy, but I can't promise anything, he's really photo-hostile.)

Anyway, I was sort of grumbling about his size 33 waist the other day to a friend of mine, and feeling sort of frumpy. (Last time I checked, my waist was more like 35-36.)

On the other hand, I am fitting into size 12 shorts. They weren't supposed to be size 12. I meant to buy size 14's. And when I tried them on, they were A BIT SNUG, THANKYOU. So I tossed 'em in a drawer and figured I'd wait 5 pounds and try them again. Two weeks ago, I started wearing them. After about the third day of wearing them, I noticed the size tag was sticking out over my waist band (on the side, even. Whose stupid idea was that? Itchy thing.) and I went to tear it off. To realize that the tag said 12M. (What's an M, anyway?)

So, I took measurements last night.

Upper Arm: 11 inches
Waist: 33 3/4 inches
Hips: 40 inches
Upper Thigh: 20 1/4

I know, I'm still no super model, but over the last 9 months, I have lost three inches from my upper arm, twelve and a quarter inches from my waist, twelve inches from my hips, and six and three quarters inches from my upper thigh. (I don't measure both sides of my body, I figure my right arm and left arm are close enough to not worry about it much...) That's 43 3/4 inches lost across both arms, both legs, hips and waist, or 3.6 feet!

My god.