tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post6207267875088290235..comments2023-08-26T08:08:27.767-04:00Comments on The Hungry Little Caterpillar: Strange Grey LandscapeLynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13102363251376084521noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-51181981013017177952008-05-19T11:21:00.000-04:002008-05-19T11:21:00.000-04:00Your post tore at my heart. I was lucky enough to...Your post tore at my heart. I was lucky enough to have an adoring father while he was alive. I lost him at a very young age, when I needed him most. I guess for that I will never forgive him. <BR/><BR/>The only words of wisdom or insight I have...maybe your father just doesn't have a good way of expressing himself with you. You said that he loves your daughter more than he does you. I have seen some of my friends in similar situations where it appeared that way. In fact, they just didn't know how to show them when they were growing up. As we age, we see our mistakes of the past and maybe he doesn't want to repeat them with your daughter. <BR/><BR/>I am sure he is proud of you even if you don't feel it. Why shouldn't he be proud? You are an incredible woman, don't ever doubt that. <BR/><BR/>Keep your chin up sweetie!Thinking Thinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12573669924131900914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-18339018744843010362008-05-16T16:50:00.000-04:002008-05-16T16:50:00.000-04:00Girl! Im so sorry you are second guessing yourself...Girl! Im so sorry you are second guessing yourself based on your father's crap. And it is, you know, his crap. You should be so very proud of your weight loss. But I know, a daughter is always looking for her father's approval. We can't help it, they are our first male role models. Stay strong, try to love him for his positive traits, and ignore the rest, know that he does love you the only way he knows how. <BR/><BR/>If that doesn't work, when he really pisses you off, just smile and remind him that one day, when he's older,who does he think will be there to take care of him. Is that wrong to think that way? Maybe. But I use that thought sometimes to help me feel like less of a little girl when my father is showing his ass. :)Chanda (aka Bea)https://www.blogger.com/profile/12321020069183192224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-77143012103178512752008-05-16T16:27:00.000-04:002008-05-16T16:27:00.000-04:00To this day, I have similar thoughts regarding my ...To this day, I have similar thoughts regarding my relationship with my father. Except, I'm actually happy that he is doing well at being a grandfather as compared to what he was at being a father. It would disappoint me greatly if he also sucked at being a grandfather. I used to long for the Charles Ingalls type of father. I still cry at sappy movies where there are scenes involving fathers and daughters (I think of the movie Armageddon with Bruce Willis and Liv Tyler) I can't tell you how I cried during the one particular scene. I've learned that my dad had some rough emotional issues that he had to go through and was young and didn't know how to really be a good father. Got messed up with the wrong crowd, drugs, etc. So I am proud that he has learned and is being a good grandpa. I don't think I've healed from everything, but I am trying because I do believe that once I let go of that burden, I'll have an easier time of eating healthy and losing weight. <BR/><BR/>Take care.Dottiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16371887303587868082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-6498326614954964492008-05-16T09:03:00.000-04:002008-05-16T09:03:00.000-04:00I think it's very natural to long for acceptance a...I think it's very natural to long for acceptance and unconditional love...which is what we are supposed to get from our parents, really. I mean, as parents we have to help our kids improve and learn to be good people, but we are supposed to love them regardless. I don't think that the child in us ever stops yearning for that...that safe place where we can just be us, and be loved and celebrated for exactly that. A place where "us" is not only good enough, but good period, no matter what. Everyone needs that, and you don't stop needing it just because you're grown up. And it doesn't stop hurting when you don't get it...<BR/><BR/>I think it's very hard for some parents to express that love and give that approval...it doesn't seem to be instinctive for them. I wish there were a way to teach that...<BR/><BR/>As I told a friend not too long ago, all you can do is assume they did the best they could and move forward. It's hard in this situation because he's still letting you down, and I wish I had some words of wisdom to help that...I don't. But I do hope that it will improve, or at the very least that you will know that you really are an awesome person. You don't have to prove that because you're walking, talking evidence for it. :-) Many hugs.<BR/><BR/>V.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-13473259149037593722008-05-16T04:15:00.000-04:002008-05-16T04:15:00.000-04:00I believe in you too!I think sometimes people feel...I believe in you too!<BR/><BR/>I think sometimes people feel that they get a second stab at getting it right with their grandchildren. He probably feels that he could have given you more, IF HE HAD KNOWN HOW TO, when you were young. But he doesn't know how to bridge that gap. Having a granddaughter gives him the opportunity to do better. He loves you. He's proud of you. And you know what, we don't make this expectation thing any easier for them than for ourselves. We've all let ourselves down in the past, in full view of our family. So by not jumping up and down in the beginning, they're hoping to spare us the embarassment if we do fail.<BR/><BR/>I'm not taking his side against you, I'm just looking at this from the outside...Hanliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16476650601531649816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-44327869132021124392008-05-15T20:46:00.000-04:002008-05-15T20:46:00.000-04:00Oh yeah, time for you to find a different street. ...Oh yeah, time for you to find a different street. :)<BR/><BR/>In the end, the ONLY thing that matters is that YOU believe in YOU. And I think you do.<BR/><BR/>Fwiw, I believe in you, too!Cammy@TippyToeDiethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00547787031318303521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3380136761770650017.post-2796324323824177522008-05-15T13:26:00.000-04:002008-05-15T13:26:00.000-04:00Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this....Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. <BR/><BR/>The only advice I can offer you is to let it go, and expect nothing from him because you don't need his approval. You are an amazing woman. Look at that little girl who will always learn unconditional love and who will always love you unconditionally as well. I know it's hard to do but you don't need to prove anything to him (or anyone else for that matter) because you're great no matter what.R.Shackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03684870717595560841noreply@blogger.com